Am I a Snob?

White bread? White bread?! When I ordered the "Park Ave" sandwich from Inbound Pizza, I know I should not have gotten my hopes up. The only food I had seen from them was grease-soaked pizza ordered in the eleventh hour. But the description sounded good enough, and the classy name made me think I would be getting the higher tier of this late night joint. When I opened up the Styrofoam container, there it was. I will give them credit for the turkey and ham (fresh), served with a crisp slice of lettuce...but on toasted white bread? WHITE BREAD! Once again, I was not expecting the von Essen Platinum Club Sandwich, but to serve your food stuffs on the lowest, most pedestrian, last-resort situation bread? We refer to things of the lowest, most mundane character as "white bread" for a reason. This decision by Inbound Pizza could be considered one of two things. At best, incomparable laziness on the part of it's creator, or at worst a direct insult to it's clientele. Or maybe it was simply a business decision by a cheap, college student-focused establishment to save a few bucks. Well, you win Inbound Pizza. It was late and I was desperate and hungry. I should have known better. Here's to all of us who learn a lesson thanks to an empty refrigerator.

YES!

I was thinking of giving up, that all was lost in the world of sandwich appreciation. But then a bleep on my dismal little radar sounded. When I opened my eyes, there it was:
The Friendly's Restaurant Grilled Cheese Burger Melt. Once again, a mad scientist in the test kitchen of a well-known American franchise toiled night and day. "How can I top this?" he cried into his cup of Red Bull, 5-hour energy and coffee while staring at the advertisements for his competitors plastered on the walls. When all seemed lost, he said "fuck it" and threw together this beast. Much like KFC removed the bread for it's Double Down and replaced it with fried chicken, Friendly's has done us one better. It's traditional favorite is housed between two grilled cheese sandwiches! That's right, TWO GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES instead of a bun. It is so simple, yet so revolutionary.

For those that can't decide between a hamburger or two grilled-cheese sandwiches, you can stop praying. You no longer have to cheese. I mean choose.

Thank You The Onion

A funtastic sandwich-related article from The Onion (which is also good on sandwiches):

Mayonnaise, Black Forest Ham To Share Top Billing In Upcoming Sandwich

LEGENDARY

THE FERDI SPECIAL, PRE-DEVOURED
Yes the legends are true: the Ferdi special exists and is amazing.
Downtown New Orleans is home to the Superdome and Mother's. The former is a football stadium, the latter sells some of the most amazing sandwiches on earth. During a trip down to the NOLA, I just had to get my hands on it, no matter what the cost...or wait. To even get into Mother's, we waited at least an hour in 40-degree weather behind college football fans discussing which coaches are incredible, gods on earth and which are straight-up bums.

Thick white rolls encompass this meat pile. Slow-cooked ham rests underneath juicy, tender roastbeef, both swimming in their own juices and spices. The star of the show is the topping: "debris," they call it. This is a succulent breed of gravy and brisket, and it oozes from the Ferdi, like the Mississippi River, soaking the bread and your hands. There is some kind of home-made mayo, but it is easily upstaged and barley noticeable by the meat-jazz-fusion concert going on.

THE FERDI SPECIAL: HALF-DEVOURED
This sandwich is truly one of a kind.