My Australian friend (if I can even call him a friend after this) was "baffled", "confused", "confounded" and "fucking mortified" at how much Americans like peanut butter (those quoted words are mine). More specifically, he was baffled at how many things we pair it with. Being an Austrialian, this friend often cited the inferior intellect and disgusting sexual habits of the residents of another island nation. I find it funny when two countries - lets just call them Zaustralia and New Australialand - spend so much time calling each other inbred retards, that they don't even realize that the rest of the world has bought a lock for the toilet and fenced off the stairs. Isolated from the more solid main country of peanut butter appreciators who have advanced in intellect and sandwich capability, these outsiders don't even recognize how far behind they are. I happily leave the savages who are satisfied with plain peanut butter and bread on their islands of boredom.
Sandwiches define the classic American childhood. And that's not even limited to white people. Peanut Butter and Jelly, though created by adults, was raped and conquered by six year olds many generations ago. They own it. Peanut butter and banana is also the illegitimate child of children everywhere. And what Massachusetts raised youngster doesn't go to bed dreaming of the warm, white, gooey goodness of a fluffernutter? The dead one's, that's who. You do have to be alive to enjoy peanut butter, but that's about the only obstacle. On that note, if peanut butter kills you I think it is safe to say you should not eat it since you will never be able to eat it again.
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