http://www.insanewiches.com/
If you appreciate sandwiches, art and/or effort, this website is pretty awesome.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
It may not be pretty...
Believe it or not, sandwiches are much like people. Outside from making life more enjoyable (or difficult), sandwiches and people can be hideous on the outside, but wonderful on the inside. Take exhibit A for example: known as "The Cuban" at industrial food producer The Cheesecake Factory. An unattractive mush of pork, ham (thank you, pig!) Swiss cheese, pickles, mustard and mayo, which has perfect balance and taste.
The salty and sweet meats (the pork is slow cooked, according to the menu) with always stable Swiss cheese, crunchy pickles and topped with both mayonnaise and mustard, all of which is grilled and pressed into the product you see below. Close your eyes, and bite into the warm, crispy-but-soft Cuban-style roll for a pleasant surprise.
"The Cuban" truly is the Susan Boyle of sandwiches.
(Exhibit A)
The salty and sweet meats (the pork is slow cooked, according to the menu) with always stable Swiss cheese, crunchy pickles and topped with both mayonnaise and mustard, all of which is grilled and pressed into the product you see below. Close your eyes, and bite into the warm, crispy-but-soft Cuban-style roll for a pleasant surprise.
"The Cuban" truly is the Susan Boyle of sandwiches.
(Exhibit A)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
What in the name of all that is holy?!
If your mind has never been blown before, it will be. KFC has done the unthinkable for their mad-scientist style experiment known as the "double down." They took the bread away (get out of here grains!) and replaced it with two pieces of fried chicken. In the middle: melted cheese and bacon.
Is it a sandwich? Is it an attack on all that is holy and good? Or is it the newest link in the sandwich evolution chain? Only time will tell...
Monday, October 26, 2009
Gum Sandwich!
I'm not much of a "gum person" but this is clearly inspired by that most perfect form...
Friday, October 9, 2009
Head Down, Power Through.
We all hit a rut at one point in our lives, whether it is with a job, a relationship, our daily lives or even a beloved hobby. I feel I can confide in all of you one painful secret: I have hit one of those ruts with my sandwich intake.
It may have been the discovery that one of my favorite foot-long heroes from one of my favorite local establishments was responsible for some stomach sickness. Or it may have been the string of dry and tasteless turkey sandwiches I have recently plowed through which have put me in a state of depression and fear of another disappointment.
As a result, I have had few words to write, and even fewer sandwiches to enjoy. To make it up to everyone, here is something from the experts, a great piece of internet journalism for you globe-trotters looking for the next great meal: Travel Channel's Sandwich Paradise.
It may have been the discovery that one of my favorite foot-long heroes from one of my favorite local establishments was responsible for some stomach sickness. Or it may have been the string of dry and tasteless turkey sandwiches I have recently plowed through which have put me in a state of depression and fear of another disappointment.
As a result, I have had few words to write, and even fewer sandwiches to enjoy. To make it up to everyone, here is something from the experts, a great piece of internet journalism for you globe-trotters looking for the next great meal: Travel Channel's Sandwich Paradise.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
When He Won't Do That
Ladies, don't'cha ever wonder what the heck is going through men's heads?! Through those fat ugly heads we love so much? I mean the sports and the hygiene and the overbearing checking of your email....what's a girl like me to do?! Seriously! WHAT??? I don't know! But those questions are for another column. I told you I'd prepare a column on the intersection of relationships and sandwiches, not how to communicate your feelings and find out if HE'S been following you to work. Those are questions I'll leave to the pro's and the prescriptions. All I know is no matter how INSANEly irritated we get somtimes, we still keep 'em around right?! For security mostly! Hahaha! But really, if the big lug weren't so insanely adorable wouldn't it be time to call the police?!
When you saddle up to the sandwich counter, is it the same problem every time? Your man won't do THAT. It's the fourth time in two weeks and as you say "I'll have a turkey and swiss on white with lettuce, tomato and mayo..." you just start to feel like things are getting a little stale. Like you're just not getting the satisfaction you came here looking for. It would only take a slice of gouda and some peppers, maybe some ham and cheddar...shit, why can't we just do a roast beef once in a while? It's not like I'm asking you to get a Reuben or something, although it might be nice to find one waiting for me one of these days. But NO.
How do you read a man who doesn't like but one kind of sandwich meat? Did his father not hug him? Did another woman make him too few sandwiches? Too many? The truth is some men will always fear sandwich meat, and in many cases it's not something you can fix. It's something he has to want to fix himself. What you can do is be supportive. DO NOT trick him into eating different kinds of sandwich meat, even if you're sure he'll like it. Chances are he'll feel betrayed and that's the last thing you want coming between you. Also, it won't help for you to order your own alternative sandwiches in front of him. Flaunting your meatloaf grill in public will only make him feel like less of a man.
Instead try adding small touches here and there. Cranberry mayonaise? Butterleaf lettuce? These things aren't as indimidating as meats so your little sensitive palate boy might be up for a change. Stay away from tough breads that make a mess. This only represents the emotional state he is no doubt feeling. If you're feeling sensual, try a wrap. And be supportive. If he's had a bad day he probably just wants to come home to the sandwich he's most comfortable with.
When you saddle up to the sandwich counter, is it the same problem every time? Your man won't do THAT. It's the fourth time in two weeks and as you say "I'll have a turkey and swiss on white with lettuce, tomato and mayo..." you just start to feel like things are getting a little stale. Like you're just not getting the satisfaction you came here looking for. It would only take a slice of gouda and some peppers, maybe some ham and cheddar...shit, why can't we just do a roast beef once in a while? It's not like I'm asking you to get a Reuben or something, although it might be nice to find one waiting for me one of these days. But NO.
How do you read a man who doesn't like but one kind of sandwich meat? Did his father not hug him? Did another woman make him too few sandwiches? Too many? The truth is some men will always fear sandwich meat, and in many cases it's not something you can fix. It's something he has to want to fix himself. What you can do is be supportive. DO NOT trick him into eating different kinds of sandwich meat, even if you're sure he'll like it. Chances are he'll feel betrayed and that's the last thing you want coming between you. Also, it won't help for you to order your own alternative sandwiches in front of him. Flaunting your meatloaf grill in public will only make him feel like less of a man.
Instead try adding small touches here and there. Cranberry mayonaise? Butterleaf lettuce? These things aren't as indimidating as meats so your little sensitive palate boy might be up for a change. Stay away from tough breads that make a mess. This only represents the emotional state he is no doubt feeling. If you're feeling sensual, try a wrap. And be supportive. If he's had a bad day he probably just wants to come home to the sandwich he's most comfortable with.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Your First?
They say you never forget your first. I will never forget the first sandwich that I fell for.
It was from the local coffee shop in my home town. I had ordered many drinks from this establishment, but never a culinary delight. (Maybe an everything bagel with honey walnut cream cheese every now and then, but never from their chalkboard of daily specials. Then I saw it. It had some sort of folksy, regional inspired name, like the New Englander, or the Vermonter, or the farmer-hippie. This list was exciting and comforting all at the same time: turkey, cheese, lettuce, roasted red peppers (my first introduction), honey mustard (an obsession at the time) and apples (what?)on grilled bread. They got everything right, a sandwich made just for me.
What was your first?
It was from the local coffee shop in my home town. I had ordered many drinks from this establishment, but never a culinary delight. (Maybe an everything bagel with honey walnut cream cheese every now and then, but never from their chalkboard of daily specials. Then I saw it. It had some sort of folksy, regional inspired name, like the New Englander, or the Vermonter, or the farmer-hippie. This list was exciting and comforting all at the same time: turkey, cheese, lettuce, roasted red peppers (my first introduction), honey mustard (an obsession at the time) and apples (what?)on grilled bread. They got everything right, a sandwich made just for me.
What was your first?
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Zaftigs: A Review
"Is this too much meat? I will let you know after the first heartattack..." And so began my journey into the beast that is The New Yorker; not the sophisticated intellectual-aimed publication or a Yankee fan flipping you off at the bar, but a signature sandwich of Zaftig's Delicatessen on Harvard Ave in Brookline.
The sandwich menu here is a stunning lineup of simple deli favorites (tuna salad, salami, hot and cold corned beef) and their mouth-watering combinations. The one that caught my eye had the following description:
12 ounces of hot pastrami & corned beef, Swiss cheese and Russian dressing on cissel served with half sour pickles, full sour pickles & sour tomato.
I ordered the New Yorker, my stomach growling for the combination of two of mankind's saltiest meats stacked together. I will admit I did not rationally consider what 12 oz of meat would look like, but the testesterone in me would not have let me backtrack anyway. When it arrived I stared in quiet awe. Two tiny slices of bread sat below and above two thinly sliced, pink rolling hills of meat. My hands squeezed the bread tightly in an attempt to hold the beef in place. They failed. Biting into it made things worse, as the slices of corned beef and pastrami tumbled to my plate, and smeared my face with Russian dressing. I alternated between this, and using my fork and knife to thin out the insides of the sandwich.
I was so overwhelmed by the mass of The New Yorker, it took digestion and 24 hours for me to think about it. After some thought, the Pro's and Con's...
Pro: Meat! Do you like thin-cut, melt-in-your-mouth, salty and peppery, high quality deli meat? That's what you are getting. And did I mention there is alot of it?! Also, it is simple: Meat, cheese and dressing on bread with pickles on the side.
Con: Hubris! The idea of that much meat could be supported by bread which was cut as thin as the pastrami, seems almost crazy. Choosing how to eat this became a challenge. I appreciate a good sandwich challenge, believe me, but the wizards in this deli either did not think it through, or were unsure about how they wanted people to eat it.
So if the carnivore in you is going crazy, looking to be satisfied by mountains of meat (with some bread) give this bad boy a spin.
The sandwich menu here is a stunning lineup of simple deli favorites (tuna salad, salami, hot and cold corned beef) and their mouth-watering combinations. The one that caught my eye had the following description:
12 ounces of hot pastrami & corned beef, Swiss cheese and Russian dressing on cissel served with half sour pickles, full sour pickles & sour tomato.
I ordered the New Yorker, my stomach growling for the combination of two of mankind's saltiest meats stacked together. I will admit I did not rationally consider what 12 oz of meat would look like, but the testesterone in me would not have let me backtrack anyway. When it arrived I stared in quiet awe. Two tiny slices of bread sat below and above two thinly sliced, pink rolling hills of meat. My hands squeezed the bread tightly in an attempt to hold the beef in place. They failed. Biting into it made things worse, as the slices of corned beef and pastrami tumbled to my plate, and smeared my face with Russian dressing. I alternated between this, and using my fork and knife to thin out the insides of the sandwich.
I was so overwhelmed by the mass of The New Yorker, it took digestion and 24 hours for me to think about it. After some thought, the Pro's and Con's...
Pro: Meat! Do you like thin-cut, melt-in-your-mouth, salty and peppery, high quality deli meat? That's what you are getting. And did I mention there is alot of it?! Also, it is simple: Meat, cheese and dressing on bread with pickles on the side.
Con: Hubris! The idea of that much meat could be supported by bread which was cut as thin as the pastrami, seems almost crazy. Choosing how to eat this became a challenge. I appreciate a good sandwich challenge, believe me, but the wizards in this deli either did not think it through, or were unsure about how they wanted people to eat it.
So if the carnivore in you is going crazy, looking to be satisfied by mountains of meat (with some bread) give this bad boy a spin.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Falafel Palace Falafel
Ever since I imprinted on the Hostel in the Forest, I haven't been especially interested in other sandwiches, which dramatically decreases my potential contributions to this blog.
However, a falafel is not exactly a sandwich, and Moody's Falafel Palace in Central Square, Cambridge, deserves a shout-out.
Falafel: Not just for showering anymore.
I always get the Falafel Roll-up with hummus, because it's the best. Falafel, hummus, tahini, pickles, other things... a downright democratic representation of flavors and textures, swaddled in a buttery wrap. I get so excited about this wrap that when I hear "Falafel with hummus?" shouted from the other end of the counter, I more often than not respond with a giggle.
The tahini drips out the other end, which is how I like it. You can ask for less tahini, though. I don't know why you'd do that.
My one complaint is that the roll-up is just slightly too big. When you realize you're comfortably full, there's a good inch or two left. You're not going to save an inch of sandwich to eat later, and to throw it out would be sacrelige. You have to eat it, and as a result, you'll be significantly less comfortable for several hours.
The Moody's Falafel Palace Falafel: It's Worth Several Hours' Discomfort. (tm)
However, a falafel is not exactly a sandwich, and Moody's Falafel Palace in Central Square, Cambridge, deserves a shout-out.
Falafel: Not just for showering anymore.
I always get the Falafel Roll-up with hummus, because it's the best. Falafel, hummus, tahini, pickles, other things... a downright democratic representation of flavors and textures, swaddled in a buttery wrap. I get so excited about this wrap that when I hear "Falafel with hummus?" shouted from the other end of the counter, I more often than not respond with a giggle.
The tahini drips out the other end, which is how I like it. You can ask for less tahini, though. I don't know why you'd do that.
My one complaint is that the roll-up is just slightly too big. When you realize you're comfortably full, there's a good inch or two left. You're not going to save an inch of sandwich to eat later, and to throw it out would be sacrelige. You have to eat it, and as a result, you'll be significantly less comfortable for several hours.
The Moody's Falafel Palace Falafel: It's Worth Several Hours' Discomfort. (tm)
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Openface: The Debate Goes On
Are you a sandwich, or aren't you? One of the key features of a "sandwich" is the fact it can be sandwiched (I am sorry, but there just isn't a better word to use) between two slices of bread. The wrap, of course, dances on that fine line but has officially been welcomed into the family. The same can go for the pita pocket, but with less enthusiasm. Both meet the important bench marks, after all.
The open-face however, is a slippery slope. There is bread on the bottom...but not on top. It does have all the familiar fixings...but you need a fork and knife to eat it.
What are your thoughts sandwich nation? Can we officially enter the open-face into the genus of your everyday sandwich? Or will it continue to tease us with such borderline behavior?
The open-face however, is a slippery slope. There is bread on the bottom...but not on top. It does have all the familiar fixings...but you need a fork and knife to eat it.
What are your thoughts sandwich nation? Can we officially enter the open-face into the genus of your everyday sandwich? Or will it continue to tease us with such borderline behavior?
Two things
1. Writing that last post made me go out and get a Hostel In The Forest sandwich. They were out of foccacia but it was still incredible, duh.
2. Scanwiches.
2. Scanwiches.
The Hostel In The Forest
hos·tel
n.
1. A supervised, inexpensive lodging place for travelers, especially young travelers.
2. An inn; a hotel.
3. A sandwich. Respite for the tongue and for the heart. The smiling whisper of a beautiful, slightly mysterious woman that it doesn't matter where you laid your roots yesterday or tomorrow-- in this moment, you are home and you are loved.
The Hostel In The Forest, invented by Kelly at Java Jo's in Jamaica Plain, achieves a level of perfection that is rarely glimpsed by human eyes, let alone digested by human stomach acids.
In the warm embrace of an onion foccacia, the following weary travelers are at last free to mingle, tell tall tales, teach snippets of their home language to their new friends, or simply tuck in early with their moleskines:
-Veggie burger*
-Hommus
-Pesto
-Avocado
-Cheddar cheese
-Lettuce, tomato, red onion
*The Java Jo's veggie burger is a blog post in and of itself-- rest assured; it's no frozen Boca Burger)
I'm not a poet, not a bard or a singer/songwriter, and it's with sandwiches like these that the confines of my own clumsy words frustrate me so. Were I able, I'd write a sonnet for The Hostel In The Forest, to honor and immortalize it. As it stands, I'll stand down and let the poet-bards Savage Garden pay tribute:
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
n.
1. A supervised, inexpensive lodging place for travelers, especially young travelers.
2. An inn; a hotel.
3. A sandwich. Respite for the tongue and for the heart. The smiling whisper of a beautiful, slightly mysterious woman that it doesn't matter where you laid your roots yesterday or tomorrow-- in this moment, you are home and you are loved.
The Hostel In The Forest, invented by Kelly at Java Jo's in Jamaica Plain, achieves a level of perfection that is rarely glimpsed by human eyes, let alone digested by human stomach acids.
In the warm embrace of an onion foccacia, the following weary travelers are at last free to mingle, tell tall tales, teach snippets of their home language to their new friends, or simply tuck in early with their moleskines:
-Veggie burger*
-Hommus
-Pesto
-Avocado
-Cheddar cheese
-Lettuce, tomato, red onion
*The Java Jo's veggie burger is a blog post in and of itself-- rest assured; it's no frozen Boca Burger)
I'm not a poet, not a bard or a singer/songwriter, and it's with sandwiches like these that the confines of my own clumsy words frustrate me so. Were I able, I'd write a sonnet for The Hostel In The Forest, to honor and immortalize it. As it stands, I'll stand down and let the poet-bards Savage Garden pay tribute:
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Intellect of the Peanut
My Australian friend (if I can even call him a friend after this) was "baffled", "confused", "confounded" and "fucking mortified" at how much Americans like peanut butter (those quoted words are mine). More specifically, he was baffled at how many things we pair it with. Being an Austrialian, this friend often cited the inferior intellect and disgusting sexual habits of the residents of another island nation. I find it funny when two countries - lets just call them Zaustralia and New Australialand - spend so much time calling each other inbred retards, that they don't even realize that the rest of the world has bought a lock for the toilet and fenced off the stairs. Isolated from the more solid main country of peanut butter appreciators who have advanced in intellect and sandwich capability, these outsiders don't even recognize how far behind they are. I happily leave the savages who are satisfied with plain peanut butter and bread on their islands of boredom.
Sandwiches define the classic American childhood. And that's not even limited to white people. Peanut Butter and Jelly, though created by adults, was raped and conquered by six year olds many generations ago. They own it. Peanut butter and banana is also the illegitimate child of children everywhere. And what Massachusetts raised youngster doesn't go to bed dreaming of the warm, white, gooey goodness of a fluffernutter? The dead one's, that's who. You do have to be alive to enjoy peanut butter, but that's about the only obstacle. On that note, if peanut butter kills you I think it is safe to say you should not eat it since you will never be able to eat it again.
Sandwiches define the classic American childhood. And that's not even limited to white people. Peanut Butter and Jelly, though created by adults, was raped and conquered by six year olds many generations ago. They own it. Peanut butter and banana is also the illegitimate child of children everywhere. And what Massachusetts raised youngster doesn't go to bed dreaming of the warm, white, gooey goodness of a fluffernutter? The dead one's, that's who. You do have to be alive to enjoy peanut butter, but that's about the only obstacle. On that note, if peanut butter kills you I think it is safe to say you should not eat it since you will never be able to eat it again.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
My Favorite Sandwich? So Glad You Asked...
I thought I would start out personal. That way if I spill my guts, you will feel more comfortable spilling yours. So the almighty question: What do I like on my sandwich? Well this answer can vary (depending on the time of day, the place, the weather, the mood, the celestial house in which the moon currently resides) but I do have certain standards on which I can always rely. Here they are in no particular order:
1. Bacon
I certainly will stand up and salute the man or woman (probably a man. C'mon, its meat!) who invented this concept any day. The salty, crunchy, fatty meat-ocity that a couple strips of bacon can add makes a world of difference. Works best on its own or a poultry based foundation.
2. Toasted Bun/Melted Cheese
Grill or toast any bread and cheese combo before stuffing it full of your favorites (or don't stuff it. Hey, no one can say they are above a classic grilled cheese!) and you have created an edible MASTERPIECE. The crispy bread and gooey cheese both clash and compliment each other in a beautiful, complete circle of tastes. Those who have access to, or possess the almighty "Sandwich Maker" or Sandwich press have no excuse to not indulge on a daily basis.
3. Pickles
If you need an explanation this, you probably should not even be involved in the discussion. Bread and butter chips, or kosher dill? Does not matter. And the invention of the "stacker" (flat cut) pickles have opened the door wide open on this one: they fit so conveniently in any position, on any type of sandwich.
4. Mustard; Deli-Style/Spicy
You need a wake-up call, Sallie Mae?! A nice kick in the you-knows-whats?! Then smear on that yellow, spicy condiment from heaven and you have just, to use a cliched, overused and possibly copyrighted phrase: kicked it up notch. Makes an everyday lunch experience into a punk-rock concert on your tongue.
1. Bacon
I certainly will stand up and salute the man or woman (probably a man. C'mon, its meat!) who invented this concept any day. The salty, crunchy, fatty meat-ocity that a couple strips of bacon can add makes a world of difference. Works best on its own or a poultry based foundation.
2. Toasted Bun/Melted Cheese
Grill or toast any bread and cheese combo before stuffing it full of your favorites (or don't stuff it. Hey, no one can say they are above a classic grilled cheese!) and you have created an edible MASTERPIECE. The crispy bread and gooey cheese both clash and compliment each other in a beautiful, complete circle of tastes. Those who have access to, or possess the almighty "Sandwich Maker" or Sandwich press have no excuse to not indulge on a daily basis.
3. Pickles
If you need an explanation this, you probably should not even be involved in the discussion. Bread and butter chips, or kosher dill? Does not matter. And the invention of the "stacker" (flat cut) pickles have opened the door wide open on this one: they fit so conveniently in any position, on any type of sandwich.
4. Mustard; Deli-Style/Spicy
You need a wake-up call, Sallie Mae?! A nice kick in the you-knows-whats?! Then smear on that yellow, spicy condiment from heaven and you have just, to use a cliched, overused and possibly copyrighted phrase: kicked it up notch. Makes an everyday lunch experience into a punk-rock concert on your tongue.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Hooray for Sandwiches!
They are quite possibly the most perfect food: Meat? Yes. Vegetables? Yes. Cheese? Of course! Fruit? Why not?! All stacked in a hearty sleeping bag of grains.
Cold or hot? Whichever you want!
And you can eat it anytime you want: Lunch, dinner or breakfast? That's right! Maybe even as a snack, for the truly bold.
And there is no need for knives, forks or spoons: no clean up necessary if you are wise enough to use a paper plate.
Sandwiches are, without a doubt, great.
Be it on white, wheat or rye; a grinder, sub or hoogie; smoothered with mustard, mayo or oil-and-vinager; heck, even if it is stuffed into a pita, or wrapped in wrap.
This blog is dedicated to that King of All Foods, the Rolls Royce of Sustenance: sandwiches.
Cold or hot? Whichever you want!
And you can eat it anytime you want: Lunch, dinner or breakfast? That's right! Maybe even as a snack, for the truly bold.
And there is no need for knives, forks or spoons: no clean up necessary if you are wise enough to use a paper plate.
Sandwiches are, without a doubt, great.
Be it on white, wheat or rye; a grinder, sub or hoogie; smoothered with mustard, mayo or oil-and-vinager; heck, even if it is stuffed into a pita, or wrapped in wrap.
This blog is dedicated to that King of All Foods, the Rolls Royce of Sustenance: sandwiches.
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